HELPING THE CHILD OBEY THROUGH THE WARNING

THE INTENT OF THE WARNING IS NOT A PRELUDE TO PUNISHMENT. IT IS THE FINAL STEP OF INSTRUCTION TO DETERMINE WHETHER THE PARENTS INSTRUCTION OR THE CHILD'S DISOBEDIENCE WAS WILLFUL.

1. DOES THE CHILD UNDERSTAND THE THREE LEVELS OF DISCIPLINE ?

1.} YOU WILL TELL HIM WHAT TO DO; 2.} IF HE DOESN'T OBEY YOU WILL DISCUSS HIS BEHAVIOR WITH HIM ; 3} IF HE CONTINUES TO DISOBEY YOU WILL PUNISH HIM.

2. IF DISOBEDIENCE IS REPEATED AFTER PUNISHMENT................

DO NOT GO BACK TO THE INSTRUCTIONAL OR WARNING LEVEL. EVALUATION OF THE PUNISHMENT MAY BE NEEDED BUT FURTHER PUNISHMENT IS NECESSARY.

3. CONSISTENCY WILL MOTIVATE THE CHILD TO OBEY RATHER THAN DISOBEY WHEN WARNED.

WHEN THE CHILD UNDERSTANDS THAT YOU MEAN WHAT YOU SAY AND WILL DEAL WITH DISOBEDIENCE AS STATED , IT IS AMAZING HOW THE CHILD IS MOTIVATED TO CHANGE HIS ATTITUDES AND BEHAVIORS.

WHEN YOU APPEAL TO THE CHILD'S CONSCIENCE BY ASKING, " WHAT DID YOU DO?" " DID YOU DISOBEY ME ?" OR " WERE YOU RIGHT IN WHAT YOU DID ? " HIS RESPONSE WILL ENABLE YOU TO DISCERN IF HE WAS INTENTIONALLY DISOBEDIENT.

IF YOU ARE CONVINCED HE WAS NOT AWARE OF ANY WRONG-DOING OR DISOBEDIENCE, THEN YOU CAN CONCLUDE ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING :

A. MY INSTRUCTION WAS NOT CLEAR. THIS WILL REQUIRE FURTHER INSTRUCTION AND CLARIFICATION.

B. HE WAS BEING CHILDISH RATHER REBELLIOUS. IT COULD BE A RESULT OF CHILDISH FORGETFULNESS.

 C. I WAS EXPECTING MORE MATURITY FROM HIM THAN I SHOULD FOR HIS AGE.

D. HE WAS REACTING TO ME PERSONALLY. I HAVE BEEN INCONSISTENT TO HIM. HE IS REFLECTING MY BAD ATTITUDES BACK TO ME. I MAY HAVE VIOLATED HIS SENSE OF FAIRNESS. THEREFORE I NEED TO APOLOGIZE AND THEN REPEAT THE INSTRUCTION.

A PARENT WHO ABRUPTLY CORRECTS A CHILD IS ASSUMING THAT HE ALWAYS EFFECTIVELY COMMUNICATES INSTRUCTION TO HIS CHILD.

IT IS NOT UNUSUAL TO DISCOVER UPON LATER INVESTIGATION, THAT THE INSTRUCTIONS WERE NOT CLEAR OR THE CHILD WAS NOT CONVINCED THE PARENT MEANT IT, BECAUSE OF PREVIOUS INCONSISTENCIES.